Caring for Older Parents: Family Meetings Have a Role
As our parents grow older, the roles in our family dynamic may begin to shift. Instead of relying on them for guidance and care, the time may come when they need our support. These changes can be challenging, especially when many parties are involved and not everyone lives close by. Family meetings can help make sure everyone is on the same page, responsibilities are clearly defined, and decisions are made in the best interest of your aging parents.
First, let’s acknowledge that every family is different. Some families are parents and their children, and other families include aunts, uncles, cousins, former spouses, and in-laws. It’s important that everyone who is currently or will be involved in the care is included in the meeting.
Try to bring these three qualities to any a family conversation focused on care for a loved one:Start with empathy: Acknowledge the emotional weight of the situation and that everyone is coming from a place of love and concern.
Listen actively: Give everyone the opportunity to share their thoughts and feelings without interruption. Aim for an open, honest discussion in which listening is as important as sharing one’s own views.
Be respectful: It’s natural to have different, sometimes conflicting, opinions. But keep the conversation respectful and focused on finding solutions.
Assess your parents’ needs
The first step in dividing responsibilities is to assess what kind of help is needed. This could include medical care, assistance with daily tasks, financial management, or simply companionship.
Things to consider:
- Do your parents need help with medications, doctor visits, or managing a chronic condition?
- Are they struggling with cooking, cleaning, or personal care?
- Do they need help paying bills, managing their finances, or navigating insurance?
- Are they feeling isolated or lonely? Would they benefit from more regular visits or phone calls?
Divide caregiving duties fairly
When it comes to caregiving, play to everyone’s strengths while also considering their location and availability. Here’s how to approach the division of duties:
Loved ones who live close by may naturally take on more of the hands-on caregiving tasks, like running errands or taking your parents to appointments. If one person is particularly good with finances, they might take on managing bills and insurance issues. Another, especially if named as healthcare representative, would be the match for handling healthcare decisions. Be honest about how much time each person can realistically contribute. Even those who live far away can still play a vital role by managing paperwork, making regular phone calls, or coordinating care remotely.
Share the financial responsibility
Caring for aging parents may involve financial costs, and it’s important to discuss how these will be managed upfront. Whether it’s paying for in-home care, medical expenses, or everyday necessities, relatives should contribute, when needed, in a way that feels fair and sustainable.
Adjust as necessary
Caregiving is an ongoing process, and your parents’ needs will likely change over time. Make sure to schedule regular follow-up family meetings to reassess the situation and make any necessary adjustments to the caregiving plan.
Navigating the care of aging parents can be challenging, but a well-structured family meeting can set the stage for a successful caregiving journey.
This article is not intended to replace the advice of your health care provider.
Source: IlluminAge
